New business idea

So my new plan is to make greeting cards. An example of my idea -

"Roses are read, violets are blue. Sugar is sweet...."
[open card]
"Please stop calling me."


So that's what I've been up to. I'll try to keep this short.

What I learned today:

"I'm sure people with a surplus of hamsters also have too many windows." - Thanks Sarah!

I use my middle finger more than I realized

So I ripped the nail off of the middle finger on my right hand. Its ripped right down to the quick. I use my hands a lot, like normal people do, for hand like things. Well now my freaking finger is all swollen and ouchy. I can still flip people off (not like I would, though. I can think of much classier insults than a simple "fuck you") but typing is difficult.

So basically, I realized that when tying, I use a combination of finger poking and normal touch typing. I use my thumbs for the space bars but I only use two fingers per hand to type. its actually surprisingly efficient. I mean, I would never get tricked into typing "greasn burger dan" or anything like that.

We have AIM set up so I can order parts from our vendors. Mostly i use this as a way to converse, rather than order parts. I mean, I have a phone for that. As a result, a lot of goofing off on my end happens. And maybe theirs. I dunno. So one day, John changes the "y" and "n" keys on Pete's keyboard. Pete makes typos galore anyway so at first I didn't notice.

Me: Hey where's you go?
Pete: luych
Me: Oh. what'd you have?
Pete: Its greasn burger dan

For some reason I found this absolutely hilarious. It wasn't until John pops up and tells me about the key switch that it made sense. The worst part was, he was convinced something was wrong with his computer, freaked out and if I recall correctly, tried to format his hard drive but was stopped.

Poor guy. Sometimes we'll still call him Burger Dan and he doesn't get it.

Erg. I was going to go somewhere else with this post. Whatever. I need more NyQuil and a nap.

Today

Today I am feeling sad. Why? because the tech that hated me without cause and without provocation left. It was his last day today and he left with the kindest words he has ever said to me. "See ya later, Penny."

This is how much I dislike change. I saw his tool box space all swept out and empty and started to get sad. It didn't help that John was gone with no hilarious musings on how Jesus would work awesomely into a zombie movie or other fun, random mostly out of place ramblings.

Too much change today. Still moving.

A kid knocked over a fire hydrant today. I'm still trying to figure out how to get it upstairs to my apartment without hurting myself. I'll have to enlist help, that's for certain. But who? Oddly enough, no one seems hilariously thrilled to lug an insanely heavy hunk of metal upstairs for my amusement. You'd think at 26, I'd have better friends than that.

Speaking of friends, wasn't I supposed to go out tonight?

And somebody shut that fucking dog up.

How not to go on a date

Do not end the conversation with the words "I have to go. My house is on fire."

I've been told I am unapproachable. This is, of course the reason why I am single. I give off of an air of approachability but whenever someone gets closer they realize I am a little rough around the edges.

I'm okay with this.

On an unrelated note, I got a phone call from Bek today at about 12 am. "I just wanted to let you know I am sitting by the pool with a margarita in my hand." She's on vacation to Florida this week. I want a margarita now.

Of course, my house wasn't actually on fire. It was just a paper towel. I have a gift for exaggeration. ("Exaggerate" has an exaggerated amount of "g"s in my opinion. This is why I never remember to put in the second one unless spell check tells me to. Spell check tells me to do so much these days. Although I can't figure out what burying bodies has to do with spelling "disingenuous". I suspect I will never know but I heed spell check's advice at all costs, no matter the peril.)