How not to go on a date

Do not end the conversation with the words "I have to go. My house is on fire."

I've been told I am unapproachable. This is, of course the reason why I am single. I give off of an air of approachability but whenever someone gets closer they realize I am a little rough around the edges.

I'm okay with this.

On an unrelated note, I got a phone call from Bek today at about 12 am. "I just wanted to let you know I am sitting by the pool with a margarita in my hand." She's on vacation to Florida this week. I want a margarita now.

Of course, my house wasn't actually on fire. It was just a paper towel. I have a gift for exaggeration. ("Exaggerate" has an exaggerated amount of "g"s in my opinion. This is why I never remember to put in the second one unless spell check tells me to. Spell check tells me to do so much these days. Although I can't figure out what burying bodies has to do with spelling "disingenuous". I suspect I will never know but I heed spell check's advice at all costs, no matter the peril.)